Graham
Clifford's winning portfolio
There are six poems in this
portfolio:

Searching
for sleep
I'm searching for sleep, for its
AM frequency.
I start at the top and wind down,
thumbing the focus into
purple throbs, over a serious clicking-
it's that satellite on a deteriorating
curve.
I carry on through the numbers, find
a black and white sitcom in
Spanish
recorded under a duvet
then a dalek giving his hurling commentary
from
inside a baked bean tin, then
there's a God-bothering channel dealing in clean-cut
chat,
talk in a forever rising tone that suggests
an answer around the next
corner, or, if not,
then definitely round the next.
A heat ray from the
fifties wipes them out
after which I discover a huge machine
by some fluke
transmitting its own chug, chug
and I'm one foot in the Land of Nod
until
pirate radio elbows in,
the fast, crunchy beat of a speeding heart
so I
press on, get the end to the theme tune
to Tales of the Unexpected then arrive
at
the proper AM doldrums;
a record needle shush-ing on the last bit of vinyl,
an
outdoor conference in the rain in Paris,
Alpha 60 broadcasting to The Lands
Without,
a brass band on its own in a barn,
world-shattering formulae hastily
chalked up,
A-line ghosts arguing, whispering my name,
glass rims singing,
congress erupting a corridor away,
a Theremin concert audience in corduroy
being seated without word or cough,
real Morse code, fat butchers' laughter,
tape un-spooling onto a tiled floor, trains,
rain tutting on my childhood
tent

My
friend was late
because last
night
he took ecstasy and cocaine and drank
and was dancing until three
o'clock
when he saw an old flame and got talking
and they did another pill
each (of what he isn't sure)
then they went back to his house where
they
took another pill to calm themselves down
so they could at last drop into
sleep, ears
ringing like an old television set on its way out,
light fizzing
from the curtain, birds singing.
He turned
up, red-eyed
taller than everyone else
that spilled from the tube station.
We
had a cappuccino each and talked
as fast as we used to when I would stay over
in
the big, posh, messy house his dad had built
where we would watch anything
until Ceefax came on
and then he would tell me stupid,
impossible stories
about celebrities.
I believed every single one.

On
a slope.
Trapped for ever in this town
a
green, open prison with too much sky,
too much surface area cooling quickly
down
where spinsters and wealthy men who wear
ironed
jeans scowl along supermarket aisles.
You serve them, burning up, desperate
for
your share. Perhaps you have been forgotten
or
the very best you deserve is a carnival
by the canal locks, featuring the local
librarian
and her Silver Thread choir echoing
into cul-de-sacs
through a P.A. system that plays
Devizes Hospital Radio
simultaneously
while children that you used to
be, drop their jaws
at the 70-something balloon-twister.
He has a fight
with the puppet on his hand.
He makes them cry
and rain darkens pavement and brick.
Swans refuse to be fed any more, to make
givers happy;
what wring-able necks.
The supermarket
clatters shut.
It's light for hours yet.
You go to cross the street, stop
on double yellows-
all these roads lead to relatives,
or abattoirs
frantic through the night with pigs and cows, or worse,
bend
back on themselves.

Truly
Thankful
The girl in the play park is
getting nowhere fast
in a spaceship on a spring.
Under the bridge a sign
broadcasts
In Event of Structural Damage
Ring
then a gap
where the number should be. Wildlife is mostly
snails
stalking something too slow to see.
Fence-wood
has been splintered open
by air-rifle pellets and everywhere shrubs release
spoof
berries- red as STOP,
bruise-blue and
those off-white ones
that pop then crumple to skin and goo.
Someone has
prised a metal box by a lamppost
to reveal the
staggering tangle that makes clear
the effort it takes, just to stay still.
Manhole covers
have words worn to murmurs. Windows go like this;
glass,
bars, nets, gloom containing people.
Jets keep well away, showing off mint-clean
throats
while scaffolding crystallizes
up
a windowless, wind-bashed aspect
of the old people's flats: they're going
to deflate the brick lung
and build the same again, but taller and thinner
and
hide it behind another- everyone is set to make
a fortune. Sometimes, after
dinner, the light gets just so;
it's like a picture.

What
I really want to do
In the hotel
I wait in a fresh suit,
the material hanging on me cold and heavy.
My palms
are clammy, cheeks burn
from adrenalin. Muffled TV applause
and premiership
results haunt the air.
I'm about to piss again when he arrives,
shakes
my hand well then leads me
by the grinning receptionist, down thin stairs
past a Spanish argument in the kitchen
into the back room.
Through
the net curtain there is a wall.
A two bar electric heater
from a Giles
cartoon has filched the oxygen.
He asks me to sit. I already have
so he
thanks me for coming and
thanks me for wearing a suit and I say
it's new,
this morning, I'm trying it out
to see if it works and he laughs.
He
asks the big one first,
What do I want to do? but he's friendly
and funny
and he wants me to be frank
so I tell him, I'm lost, unsure
and he tells
me my CV is intriguing, a jigsaw
with bits missing then extra bits,
snippets
from another scene. And that's funny.
But what do I want to do?
He
tells me about him: he loves opera.
His hands are thick and small and he's
perspiring
in the receding Vs and he's fat and he's written
articles on
interview techniques for IT graduates
and reviews opera. Sometimes he's in
Geneva.
He has a suit on. No tie. It is Saturday.
But what do I really
want to do?
I hold my hands out, palms up.
They're
empty.

The
Best Poem Ever Written
I write a poem that is
the best. Massive.
I don't just mean long, but
huge intellectually
and
although it ends up as quite a few pages
it's so easy to read it's like freefalling-
each line
teeming with genius thoughts,
whole other worlds you hadn't thought
of.
The poem makes me famous.
It's on the lips of intellectuals
and
cleaners; teachers
and drinkers because the breweries
print stanzas of
the poem
on the bottom of beer bottles.
On hot, oxygen-depleted nights
I
walk down city streets and hear
lines of my poem being whispered
by sticky
people. On the tube,
I peek over the top of a book about me
at a man in
a suit nodding off
and recognise the words he's mouthing
in his swoon.
All front pages, every day
have the entire poem in small font, so it fits-
bombings
or knifings get tucked inside.
The new novelist pays well to get
my poem
printed as an introduction:
she knows her work makes no sense without it.
Systematically,
everyone I have ever known
rings me to ask how I did it.
I say I don't
know, and that's the truth.
After a year the fuss doesn't die down.
One
morning I sit at my computer
and hear downstairs turn the TV on.
I put
my ear to a gap in the floorboards.
It's an actor and he's reading my poem.
It's
a good version; I've heard it before.
He has a Shakespearean voice
doing
justice to what the introducer calls
The Best Poem Ever Written.
I
listen to it all, I travel where the poem takes me
then get back in my chair
and
write a better one.

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